Parenting after loss, Secondary Infertility, Miscarriage.

For some things in life, there are no words. There really aren't. How can anyone possibly describe or understand our loss? In truth we didn't just loose a child, we lost all our hopes & dreams for that individual child.

All the birthdays, Christmases, life milestones like graduation college, weddings, and grandkids. We didn't just loose a child, we lost a part of our future.

And the anxiety & fear that comes with the next pregnancy( if we are lucky enough to not have secondary infertility or other trauma), who can understand that if they haven't lived it. Nor the guilt & confusion that comes with bracing ourselves for potentially another loss while simultaneously hoping with all our heart that our baby survives. No one fully understands, until they themselves have been through it.

Fathers, grandparents, auntie/uncles, siblings, etc. all grieve too. Some more than others, and each in their own way. I speak to many via my online grief groups. We are all members of a club no one wants to be in.
Well meaning words such as "God has a plan...there is a reason for everything...you have other children be happy with that..." and the worst one, for me, "...you need to move on..."

Grief isn't something you "move on" from. It is something you learn to live with. It ebbs & flows, like the tide. Some days the waters are calm, other days the under current drags you down. And in time, you hope to learn to ride the waves.
My favorite saying that helped me to learn to live with my grief proudly is "...our tears are all our love that has no place to go. "

I can't make the pain go away. I don't have magic words to alleviate the pain. I can grieve with you, say their name with you, and be with you.

Gender: Female
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Key Words: Grief