Born in New Hampshire, I now make my home in the mountains of western Montana. In life, I've been a housekeeper, lodge owner, fishing & hunting guide, real estate broker, and hospitality consultant. I am a mother of four (two of my own and two stepsons) and a grandmother of two. I have wonderful friendships and laugh often. I am blessed.
As a child, I lived with my grandparents until I was 7. At that point, I was made to live with my mother and step-dad. Never a loving woman, she was abusive both physically and emotionally. I watched her tell lies, hurt other family members, emotionally abuse my sister, and be hurtful and cruel to her friends. At age 27, I decided I could not have this person in my life.
Once that hard decision happened, next came the guilt. How could I cut my mother out of my life? My relatives understood but felt it was morally wrong. How could I keep my children from their grandmother? I struggled with the guilt and self-doubt for at least 5 years. She showed me, again and again, my choice was the correct one.
For me, it is important to break the cycle. I do not want to be affected by her untruths, her warped mindset, or be witness to her cruelty towards others. I never want my children or grandchildren to be subject to it either.
It's been many years now since that decision. I forgive my mother for all past events. And I am at peace with my socially unaccepted decision.
If you are struggling with a complicated parental relationship, I am a good listener and non-judgemental.