Have you heard of narcissistic abuse syndrome? Most people haven’t and nobody can really understand it unless they have suffered themselves. I have and I can help you.
If you have asked yourself if you are crazy and think you are imagining things in your relationship and break up, this is a clear indicator. Victims of narcissistic abuse are those who are in or or have been in a relationship with a narcissist. This person typically is a lover, friend, parent or employer. I
In the beginning, you are idolized. Over time, without warning, you fall from grace and are mercilessly devalued and your world is shattered. You lose your sense of self, are replaced, discarded and relentlessly abused. Often times, the abuser sends “flying monkeys” your way. "Flying monkeys" are other people the narc has charmed, just to make sure you look or feel crazy and he looks good. The narcissist will twist reality and make you and others think you are out of your mind, and even that you are the abuser. It doesn’t stop there, the narcissist, usually circles back to idolize you and the cycle continues only it becomes worse each time.
It is guaranteed that you will be increasingly disrespected and invalidated all over again. As a result, you may struggle with PTSD and Complex PTSD, as if you have been in a war. You may be anxious, depressed and hyper-vigilant. You may feel ashamed, helpless and worthless.
As a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may dissociate as a means of survival. You may “walk on eggshells” in your relationship with the narcissist. You will sacrifice your every human need and protect your abuser in your mind making every excuse for that person. You cannot help it! This will make your friends, family and professionals frustrated with you and they may tell you to just "grow up", "move on" and "get over it."
Eventually you will become physically and emotionally sick, mistrustful and even think of self-harming or suicide. You will believe the narcissist and accept blame for the abuse. Finally, you may self-sabotage and self-destruct.
By talking with someone who has been through narcissistic abuse, you may be able to reduce cognitive dissonance, and arm yourself with knowledge of their abuse tactics so that you can protect yourself. You see, you have an intense trauma bond with your narcissist and that is part of why you will feel you love them no matter what they do to you. You side with them and protect them at all costs even if it means your life.
I was born to a narcissistic father and have continued in increasingly more dangerous narcissistic relationships with lovers, husband, friends and employers. Now that I know about narcissistic abuse syndrome, I have been able to gather tools to help protect myself and not repeat patterns.
I care very much about victims of narcissistic abuse. I want to listen to you without judgment and help encourage you to become a survivor. It doesn’t matter your age, gender, sexual identification, race, ethnicity, educational background or socio-economic level. The fact is, anyone can suffer from narcissistic abuse syndrome.
With the right support, you can heal and learn to take back your power and thrive. I know it hurts beyond what anyone seems to be able to understand. Sometimes all you may want is to have that narcissist’s approval and only someone like me who has been through it understands.
Talk with me and I will help navigate your way through this dark maze. I have been through excruciatingly painful, shameful, humiliating and life threatening situations in my lifetime with narcissists. You can't tell me anything that will shock me.
I’m doing well now and that didn’t seem possible a few years back. Let’s chat. You have a friend and an ally here.